A Small Tribute

Some posts are written just for me, so I can look back on my little family's time together on this earth.  This post is a little different.

I'm sure most of you know about my dad's heart episode last week.  I wrote a little about it on my other blog, but wanted to do a little something different here.  I prefer to celebrate life on this earth while we're here.  Not to say that tributes in passing are not special and important for some, but for me, I pray to have the celebration here with the people I love, and be thankful when they meet our Father.

 And yes, I realize how this might sound.  It might sound like I a)don't have close relationships with family or b)haven't experienced true loss before.  'A' is untrue and 'B' I'll give you.....it's just that I want to grasp how finite our time here is....and you know what?  For more thoughts on how I feel about all of this, go to Perfectly Imperfect. :)

We always said, "I love you."  Always.  My family is just expressive....to say the least.  We love each other fiercely and we say it.  And when we're upset with each other, we talk it out.  (Even if I'm still scared to death to disagree with my dad :)

So, Mom and Dad, "I love you!"

It's only fitting that after something like last week I would want to tell my dad how much I love him and appreciate him.  But I wanted to document what I love about him.....

Dad was taught early in life to serve.  I was fairly young when my Paw Paw died, but he had a huge impact on me in the short time I knew him.  He and maw-maw lived in Arkansas, but didn't let that stop them from spending time with us, sometimes a week at a time.  I don't know large amounts of detail, mostly because I can tell it's almost painful for my dad to talk about the childhood he loved.  My grandfather was a minister, and from the sound of it, a great one...a true servant of Christ (who was also willing to play some pranks for laughs--he filled a coke bottle with cold coffee for dad to find and drink once :). 

I know at one point dad lived in an orphanage with his parents, and from the sound of it, got beaten up a couple of times until he got older.....well, you know the rest.  By the way, this blows me away.  I hear about things like this, but to know my grandparents ran an orphanage and took my dad there to live...that seems so full of faith; I wish I could talk to them about it and so many more things.

My earliest memories of my dad involve tons of laughter.  I remember when I was three, we went on ski trip to Colorado and one morning, he picked me up and threw me out the door into the two feet of snow.  No ski bibs--just pj's.  There's a picture of my shocked face, assuming I was in trouble until he burst out laughing. 

My school age memories are different....I remember laughing, because we always laughed, but I remember a lot of instruction.  I remember him teaching me about holding my tongue, and caring about other people.  Once, I even had one of those nasty girl fights in ninth grade....you know the story...said best friend completely stabs you in the back and talks about you and causes half the class to hate you.  Yeah, it was fun.  I remember dad's first words to me (and now this astonishes me because I know how hard it must have been to be neutral when I was clearly hurt)...."What did you do to contribute to the situation?"

I remember in high school being so proud of my parents, not embarrassed by them (ok, not all the time.  mostly, though.)  Dad danced with me at my junior prom and I remember being so proud and feeling so loved.  I have this picture of the two of them dancing together at the same prom, and it's what I searched for....I wanted a companion like that in my life. 

I remember the really hard times....the times when I disappointed him so greatly, and instead of turning his head, he chose the hard road, and parented me....rebuked me, corrected me, encouraged me, loved me.

I'm actually tearing up now....didn't cry during the whole heart episode, but I'm crying now.  Go figure.

So, in honor of my "What I love about you" posts, here goes....

That you lived your faith as you were raising us; you lead us by example

That you taught me to love people first, and ask questions later

That you were and still are simply there for me...no matter what

That you never actually threatened any of my boyfriends (I'm not sure where you got that restraint)

That you did teach me to love even those I can't understand

That you coached me like any other player, and made me much stronger and resilient for it

That you never assumed I was always in the right....you taught me to be responsible for myself and to be accountable for my actions

That when I was in the "right", you helped pick me up and keep doing the right thing, even when it was hard

That everyone who meets you likes you....how do you do that???

That you came from very little, and have worked to provide so much for our family, and more importantly, so many others.

That I trust my own life in your hands

That you made it to the hospital  (an hour away) as my ambulance did when we had the wreck

That you called my future husband your "hero"

That when you realized I wasn't your baby anymore, you just let go, and let our relationship move to a different place--and it's wonderful, right?

That you didn't blubber like a baby when you gave me away

That you have helped, guided, and given instruction to me and Matt through the last 6 years without being pushy or over-involved (mostly :)

That even though you wanted to kill us, and hide Matt's body, I might add, when we told you we were moving to Honduras, you eventually accepted it and prayed for us.

That apparently you were also praying for any reason to make us stay--and you got it--Grayson.

That it's almost as fun to watch you be a grandparent as it is to be a mommy

That you are scared to death of computers so much that you might never read this ;)

That you are strong--you are taking the steps to take care of the body you have and that you are willing to do what needs to be done...just like always

That you still want to go to Disney World with us--we're SO excited to see you enjoy it and to be there as a family!

That I see so much of you in myself, even the scary temper sometimes

That even though there are things Matt and I have chosen to do or try differently, you bite your tongue until you're on board...thank you for that kind of support!!

There are so many more reasons why I love you, but these are what popped into my head this morning--thank you for the father you were, are, and will be.

Now, on to you mom.  Don't worry, you don't have to have any kind of episode for me to show you a little love too!

Mom is such a sweetie.  Really.  If you read that and don't agree, well, first thing, don't tell me you don't.  And secondly, you haven't gotten to know her well enough.  And she is tireless.  I mean, she works.  Always.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Mom grew up here in Alabama and met dad in college.  By the way, while I'm traveling down memory lane, I have to metion that my dad (in a very cliche way) told his best friend that "he was going to marry that girl" when he saw her in the cafeteria for the first time.  He had to ask her out for a year before they had their first date....a picnic!  Way to go, both of you! 

She is truly a cowgirl at heart.  She has been riding (with her grandaddy) since she was a little girl.  She's been thrown off, kicked, bitten, and I'm sure lots of other things by those skiddish animals, but she's still in love with a horse.  (As a matter of fact, she was wearing the whole attire when she arrived with dad at the hospital...spurs and all.  Cute.)  If I ever became filthy rich, probably the very first thing I would do is buy her a massive ranch in Montana and fly her out there asap.  She might not ever come home, but oh, would I love to give her that kind of joy.

Mom's greatest attributes are different than dad's.  She's more subtle in every way.  His works are more obvious--number one, his size...he's hard to miss and two he's a front of the crowd kind of man.  She is behind the scenes.  I remember a lot of vocal instruction from dad the older I got, but I remember watching her live her example. (you too, dad....don't you two start keeping points.)

Like previously stated, she is tireless.  And always has been.  I remember even in kindergarten her staying up late to make those blasted Christmas cookies that I made myself this year and then getting up to make us a full breakfast before school.....and then going on the field trips before she ran all the errands.....and then cooking a full supper after she supervised homework time....and then sewed a little or did something for herself for five minutes before it was bath time and story time and cuddle time....and then time to do the next project for Lance or me.

I didn't notice when i was younger, but she served incessantly.  My dad, me, my brother, my grandparents, our church family, our horse show family, our extended family...whoever needed whatever got it.  Whatever it was.

I remember her on every field trip I ever took but one.  And again, never smothering....just there.  To be helpful, to be involved in my life.  Not to squish my every move, but to shape my thoughts, my heart.  Simply to be there.

I remember she made about 30 pee-wee cheerleading uniforms by herself when I was in the 4th or 5th grade.  Again, so proud of her and that my mom was the one that made these. :)

I remember her being so involved in my basketball.  Going to every single game (and now I know how fun that must have been) to watch my dad turn red in the face and me sometimes miss that last shot.  She even tried to help me practice sometimes, and once, I threw a chest pass to her and literally broke her finger.  Still sorry about that one.

I remember that I could talk to her when I could talk to no one else.  I knew she would listen and be strong enough to hear whatever I had to say.  She was the right kind of friend a parent should be.  I could talk to her and she would be there, but she never cared more about being my friend than being a great parent, an example.

I remember traveling to horse shows almost every weekend in the fall and spring and people loving mom and dad.  We were usually in Georgia at a show for Thanksgiving, and she would cook for 25 or 30 people there and we would have wondeful Thanksgiving's with the people who felt like family.  How gracious of her...and again, tireless.

What I love about you, Mom--

That you not only made those Christmas cookies, but they were beautiful to look at and wonderful to eat

That you were there for all my trips, plays, recitals, games--even in college!

That you actually held me upside down to give me a spanking once because I wouldn't be still--one of my favorite memories ;)

That you made my beautiful red prom dress--I loved it and I felt like a princess--thank you for the time it took!

That you were a little more bias than dad--no one rigged any homecoming queen contest--i just didn't win :)

That you didn't even tear up the day you dropped me off at college--and you didn't kill me when I didn't give you the time you deserved for 2 months

And that you never said a word about all of it when I had the wreck and cried for you like a baby

That even then, you were so strong for me--I know now you allowed God to give you the grace to handle it beautifully

That in all the years of motherhood, we both know you cleaned up more than your fair share of nasty stuff that came from me or Lance....or both of us

That you did try to learn all the words to my favorite songs--it was only minorly embarrassing!

That you kept our home open for anyone--my friends were always welcome--even the ones you weren't so crazy about

That you had that Halloween party for our social clubs in college--like 50 or 60 crazed college students tearing apart the house--complete with a graveyard cake and all kinds of spooky treats

That you never let me know that I could break your heart with harsh words--you just instructed me how I should treat others--and in doing so, I realized that I can be the harshest with you--I'm sorry for that.

That you love my husband like he is your own son--and he loves you right back--just keep the computer questions to a minimum. ;)

That when we were building our house you knew that I would need more plugs than I wanted--and other than that, you left all the decisions up to us as real grown-ups

That you lit up in a whole new way when I had Grayson and now Ava--thank you for doing so much with them--for all the pumpkin patch trips, beach trips, sidewalk chalking, diaper changes, lunchtime feedings, and bedtime cuddling.  I know how much it means to me and how much it will mean to them.

Again, just a drop in the bucket for all the reasons I love you.  Thank you both for the Godly parents you have been--for the instruction, the wisdom, the laughter, the crying, the love you created together for our sweet family.  And thank you for helping me pass that on to my children.

Here's to you both!  (you know this means no sad songs sung at either of your funerals, right??  Just kidding...it it too soon to joke? :)

If you read this, and mom and dad mean something to you or they've touched you in any way, please feel free to leave a comment.  I'd love to hear how.